Jill Cubed
by xXNorweiganAssassinXx
Summary: What if personality was determined by what you wear? And what happens when you stick these personalities together? Jill has had her fair share of outfits, so what happens when you stick all these different Jills under one roof? One hell of a show, that's for sure!
1. Chapter 1

**Hi. Well. This is awkward. *****Ahem* **

**Aside from awkward greetings...  
**

**This idea actually came to me while I was playing Sims and trying to make Jill and then realized there are many different versions of her. And then it hit me. What if clothing gave people their personality? BAM! GOOD IDEA! LET'S MAKE A STORY OUT OF THIS! And thus I created the three different Jill's (with different personalities) and made little snippets out of it. I tried to make it not confusing between the Jill's as possible, but sorry if I couldn't make it clear enough.  
**

**Sorry if this first chapter is bad. I needed some kind of intro to get the three of them into one place and this is what came to mind. I swear the other parts are better. Then again maybe not. This my first attempt at writing humour which I'm not very successful at so sorry if you want to burn this fic.  
**

**PS. I, personally, do not believe that RE5 Jill was the same as the previous Jill's. She just seemed too different to me to be the same character. That doesn't mean you can't believe that. Opinions people!  
**

**GOD THAT WAS LONG. NOW YOU CAN READ.  
**

* * *

It was a rather nice day. Yes, rather nice indeed for anyone who was out and about enjoying it. The sun was shining, birds were singing, and people were taking the chance to not eat each other's faces off. Always a plus.

Today had a reason for being especially nice, aside from the lack of cannibalistic behaviour. Today was the day she was finally going to meet her two other roommates. She didn't really know much about them except that they agreed to rent along with her. The tenant asked for three renters, no smoking, no pets, yadda, yadda. She needed a change of scenery anyways and this was just the opportunity she was looking for.

Jill checked the small piece of paper making sure this was indeed the right address, which in fact, it was. With suitcase in hand, she marched up to the door and knocked. One of the renters had come in a couple days early for convenience so they should've already been here.

Several seconds of nothing, followed by the sound of footsteps advancing in a particularly angry fashion told her that there was, indeed, someone here. The door swung open, revealing an irritated blonde dressed in a skin-tight battlesuit that left little to the imagination.

"I swear to god, if you're here to arrest me, I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG YET!"

Jill just stared, eyes as wide as dinner plates, sounding more like the undead, "Uh… uhh…"

She watched, an eyebrow quirked, "I guess you're not the po-po. Disregard that last statement."

The blond woman in the doorway then scowled, getting angrier for some reason, as her eyes shifted behind the new guest and rolled in displeasure, "So, you're one of the new tenants. It seems Thing 2 just arrived as well."

Jill turned, looking in the pointed direction. A brunette with a hairstyle much like her own stepped from the cab dressed in a tube top and mini skirt. She waved in their direction, grabbing seven seemingly useless suitcases and making her way over.

Being the ditz she was, she over estimated how much she could carry at once as her heel caught on the edge of the pavement causing her to fire the bags in all directions and her face to meet the pavement.

Jill winced at the sight, the blond breaking into a chuckle, "Yeah, that's usually what happens when you wear hooker heels."

The newcomer lifted her face, giving them an angry glare, "These are NOT hooker heels! They're easy to maneuver in and quite comfortable!"

"Yep. Hooker heels," the blond noted nonchalantly as she looked over her fingernails in an unamused fashion.

Jill watched the fuming newcomer pull herself from the ground and collect her bags. The women behind her scoffed, causing Jill to turn and watch as she retreated into the house, leaving the door open for the other two to follow.

She gave a look back at the newcomer, deciding against her helpfulness for once and followed the blond into the house.

The newcomer looked up, realizing she was left to fend for herself, "Hey, guys! Wait up!"

With hands full of the several bags, she attempted to walk towards the door with shaky legs, only for the entire load to fall on top of her.

* * *

After much effort of getting the bags inside, the three women were finally seated around the small dining room table about to discuss the plan of action. Whatever that was.

"Alright," the blond woman leaned back into her seat, "First things first. There's only one bathroom and it's on this floor. The bedrooms are upstairs. I don't know what the dude was smoking when he built this house, but that's the way it's gotta be. I've already chosen my room so the other two are up to you."

The woman with hair much like Jill's threw both of her hands up, excitably, "I call the next awesome room!"

The other two women gave her a strange look, before ignoring the statement completely. Jill, logical as she was, quirked a brow at the blond woman, "Shouldn't the first thing have been introductions or something? We are going to be living in this place together so that kind of seems important."

Again, the other woman spoke up, "I'm Jill! Nice to meet you!"

Jill looked towards the newly introduced Jill, cracking a smile at the coincidence, "My name's Jill, too. What a coincidence."

The blond woman leaned back, grumbling to herself, "You've got to be kidding me."

Both Jill's looked towards her, the one with the heels speaking up, "Hey. This'll be easier for you. Less names to remember."

The other Jill watched more closely. That didn't seem to be what was bothering her…

"Don't tell me...?"

The blond woman looked towards her, nodding with a less than impressed face, "Yep."

The first Jill sniffed in amusement, "Now THAT is a coincidence."

The other Jill looked helplessly between the two, not understanding what was going on, "Huh? I don't get it."

The blond woman only rolled her eyes, annoyed like a parent at a child that won't stop asking questions.

Jill looked towards the obviously less informed Jill, "Her name is Jill as well."

Jill's eyes widened in understanding before a huge smile spread across her face, "That's so cool! I've never had a household with so many Jill's in one place!"

"Neither have I," the first Jill said, amused and amazed by this entire set-up. Being the most logical out of them all, she picked out the obvious flaw to this situation, "If we're all Jill, then how will we know the difference between who we're talking about?"

The blond Jill smiled evilly, finally seeming to lighten up (if that's what you call it), "Let's use verbs! You can be Logical Jill because you seem the sanest out of the three of us," she turned towards the other Jill with the wicked smile, "You can be Slutty Jill because of those hooker heels you're wearing. And I'll be Evil Jill."

"Why do I have to be Slutty Jill?" said woman whined, "I want a cool verb name!"

"If a zombie apocalypse were to break out right this second, would you take a moment to get a change of clothes or continue in what you're wearing?" Evil Jill inquired, leaning forward to look more menacing.

"What kind of question is that?" Slutty Jill looked appalled and offended, "Of course I would wear this! It's easy to wear and already looks good. No need to get a different outfit together."

Evil Jill leaned back, crossing her arms as Logical Jill face-palmed and shook her head, "Point and case."

"Let's hope no zombie apocalypses break out then, okay?" Slutty Jill offered to the other two members, sheepishly.

"Agreed. Now let's get the other rooms settled out," Logical Jill input, picking herself from the table. The other two followed suit, with nothing better to do at the moment.

This was either going to be the best or the worst thing ever. Maybe their landlord was a cunning individual who had planned this out from the start. Maybe she was sitting there scheming right now of all the different ways she could mess with the three Jill's. Maybe she was laughing maniacally knowing about the storm she was causing… or maybe it was just paranoia…


	2. Chapter 2

**I've been doing a lot of writing lately instead of studying. There go my grades! **

**I've written quite a few pieces already on these three and this was the first one I wrote, even before the first chapter. So I figured this one should be the first actual piece to go up. Hope its not too bad.  
**

* * *

Two of them stared at the board, completely transfixed in this game of logic. This had been going on like this for an hour or so and it was only in the beginning stages of the game. Finally, one of them made a slow move, carefully picking up the piece and placing it down but never losing grip to make sure it was the right play. Finally, after much scrutiny, the piece was released.

Now the staring game would continue.

Slutty Jill sighed, watching all this play out before her, though it was hardly playing when neither moved enough to be considered living. She would look from the evil and cunning Jill to the handy, good with her hands Jill. And back. And forth. And back. And forth.

It's not that she didn't mind watching, for these games could get interesting. It was just that they were incredibly boring because they took an eternity to move a single piece. She let out a sigh, letting her head roll back over the seat.

They were both smart and highly logical; it just seemed they used it in completely different ways. And that's what should have made the game interesting if they weren't so bloody slow!

She righted her head to stare back at the board, which of course, hadn't changed at all, boring her further, "Can't you two hurry up? You take forever to make a move."

Twin shushing noises along with matching glares caused her to jump at the sudden noise in all the silence.

"No need to be rude," she pouted, crossing her arms.

"Yes we do. Now take that annoying ass of yours back to the street corner," Evil Jill taunted.

"Hey! My clothing is fine compared to whatever S&M thing you have going on," she jabbed back.

Blondie didn't look too happy 'bout that, "I swear on Barry's grave that if you don't shut up, I will make you into a Jill sandwich."

It was Logical Jill's turn to speak up, "Who's Barry?"

The Jill opposite her shrugged, "No clue but saying it made the statement sound important."

Jill nodded in understanding.

Evil Jill turned back to the one watching, "Now if you'll excuse yourself, we're going back to the game now."

Slutty Jill rolled her eyes, getting up from the chair, "Fine! I'll go watch grass grow or paint dry or something more exciting than this." And with that, she left in a huff.

When she left earshot, the blond Jill looked up momentarily. "$50 says she'll be back in an hour."

Logical Jill looked up, "You're on."

They shook hands, sealing the bet before continuing their chess game.

Later, after the sun set.

Evil Jill looked up, finally unable to see the chessboard well, "I think we call it a night, eh? I can hardly see the black pieces in the dark."

The figured opposite her in the darkness shifted, "And leave you to alter it before we can start again? I don't think so."

"Damn. Well then, let's take a picture. This way we can always check to make sure it all evens out."

Logical Jill contemplated this, "I guess it makes sense. C'mon, let's go get a camera."

Both Jill's got up from the small table and made their way to the house. The third Jill probably had a camera somewhere they could use.

Logical Jill opened the door and led herself in only to freeze halfway inside. Evil Jill saw this, getting mad that she was blocking the entrance.

"Do you mind moving..."

She had squeezed herself in the small space only to freeze like the Jill before her. The kitchen, no, the entire room looked as if a huge chemical experiment had gone way wrong. It looked like something had exploded, leaving a black mess everywhere. Even on the roof for god's sake.

Both Jill's watched with their mouths agape as one held out a hand and the other handed over $50.

A giggling startled them from their staring, causing them to look over at Slutty Jill sitting on the couch with a bowl of popcorn in her lap. The blond Jill was none too happy, marching over. She snagged the popcorn bowl away from the Jill transfixed on the television, earning an irritated cry.

"How the hell did you make a mess like this?!"

Slutty Jill glared up at Evil Jill, "I tried making myself something to eat, but since I'm a horrible cook, I just made myself some microwave popcorn instead," mumbling to herself, she added, "Third times the charm."

Evil Jill's eyebrow twitched, "So help me, if you do not clean this up, I will find you and I will kill you."

Slutty Jill rolled her eyes, knowing she was going to get sentenced to this anyways, "Yeah, yeah. I'll get on it tomorrow morning. Now gimme back my popcorn!"

The blond woman growled, thrusting it back towards her and huffing into the kitchen to make herself something to eat. Logical Jill, who had been watching the entire episode, calmly followed her to the area.

She took a seat at the island as she watched the agitated woman shuffle through the fridge for different ingredients, "I'm making myself a sandwich. Want one?"

"Sure."

Evil Jill grabbed double the supplies, easily making some kind of sandwich. She may have been evil, but damn she could make good sandwiches. Anything really for that matter.

Several bites later, Logical Jill spoke up through a mouthful of the sandwich, "You should set up a shop called Jill's Sandwiches. I'm sure people from all around would come just to have a taste."

Jill rolled her eyes, "Great idea! I'll put a cute little apron on too, and it'll be a quaint little place that everyone will enjoy!" She pointed a finger into her mouth and made gagging noises.

Logical Jill took another bite, "I thought that might be your reaction."

All three of them relaxed for the night, the game outside completely forgotten in the meantime.

"Why would you mess up such a perfect game?"

"Me? I was winning! I would never screw that up for myself!"

"Like hell you were! It was my move and I was about to put you into check!"

"Bullshit! Then why would you screw up a game unless you knew I was going to win?"

The screaming argument between Logical and Evil Jill had been going on for quite some time. Both had forgotten about their game until early the next morning when they went to resume the mind battle, and in the meantime, someone had come and completely messed up their game.

Slutty Jill watched from inside as they got into each other's face, looking ready to tear the other to shreds. She couldn't help chuckling to herself as she continued to scrub the roof. Yeah, a little manual labour was so worth the show. In her opinion, this was much better than watching them stare at the board for hours on end.


	3. Chapter 3

**Just so you know, these have no particular order. It's just write as they come to mind.**

**To my two reviewers, thank you! :) Pretty much makes my day to see that and helps the speed at which I update this. To everyone else who reads/follows/or does whatever, thank you too. I just don't know who you are.  
**

* * *

Tonight was the night. Yes, all three Jill's had the night off for once and planned to spend it as such, having a girl's night in watching movies and eating junk food. It would be a wonderful way to kick off the weekend/workweek except for the one small fact that they all had vastly different tastes. And that wasn't such a small fact.

"I want a Hawaiian pizza!" Slutty Jill seemed to vibrate excitedly at the idea of pizza.

Evil Jill shot her a glare, "What's wrong with you? Pineapple does NOT belong on a pizza."

The other woman's brow furrowed as she stuck out her tongue defiantly.

Logical Jill ignored the bickering, pen and paper in hand, looking towards the blond woman "What kind do you want, then?"

The woman in question grinned evilly, "Meat-lovers."

"Nooooooo..." The other Jill whined, "There's too much on there to taste any of the flavours."

Evil Jill rolled her eyes, "It's better than putting freaking fruit on a pizza."

Logical Jill sighed as they continued to argue. This could literally take all night. And that's when a bright idea popped into her head as she interrupted the debate, "Why don't we get one pizza with three different sections? This way, no one has to argue."

The other two Jills looked at each other, this idea actually seeming to work.

"For the love of god, as long as there isn't any pineapple on my half, I'll survive."

Slutty Jill crossed her arms, "What do you have against that fruit?"

She shrugged, "Nothing, but it doesn't belong on a pizza."

Logical Jill scribbled down the desired toppings before beginning to dial the number.

"Ooh! Get some of those garlic bread sticks too!" Slutty Jill hopped excitedly.

Evil Jill nodded in agreement. For once.

Jill did as she was told, ordering the triple topping pizza with an extra side of breadsticks. The man on the other side informed her that it would arrive at the house in just under an hour, giving them enough time to pick up whatever else they would need.

After that was settled, they handed Slutty Jill cash and sent her off to retrieve the other snacks with much protest. Finally, after bargaining for someone to come with her, she left the house to get the requested snacks from the gas station a couple blocks away.

Someone had to stay at the house in case the pizza arrived while they were out and that left Evil Jill and Slutty Jill to perform the recon mission.

"I don't understand why you couldn't have done this by yourself," the blond muttered in an irritated fashion.

"Because everything is better with company. And this way, you can pick out what you want yourself." She was happy she didn't have to go alone even if said company was not.

After that, the walk carried on in silence until the youngest of the pair spoke up, "What's your job like?"

Ultimately, she received a strange look, "Why do you want to know?"

Slutty Jill shrugged, "I dunno, conversation?"

The blond woman looked forward, "Y'know, evil things. Removing stop signs, keeping the neighbour's dog barking all night, driving slowly in the fast lane. The usual stuff."

"Ah." She really didn't know what to except for an answer, but nonetheless, she received one.

They arrived at the gas station, Slutty Jill heading straight for the candy and picking out several different packages. Evil Jill, on the other hand, picked out a few different bags of chips ranging from Spicy Chilli Pepper to Dill Pickle. After gathering that loot, they met up at the drink section.

Slutty Jill admired all the drinks with wide, excited eyes, "What kind should we get?"

"Dunno. I like coke so let's get a bottle of that."

"I like orange! Do that one too!"

The blond woman snorted, "No one likes orange."

"Yeah they do or it wouldn't be for sale," Again, she stuck out her tongue.

"I guess hookers gotta drink too," Jill said as she reached for the requested beverage.

The other Jill stared, offended, "Why are you so mean?"

"Uh, I'm evil?" She gave her a stupid look.

Slutty Jill shifted her footing, "That doesn't mean you have to be mean about it."

"Actually, it's kind of a prerequisite," She shook her head, finding this conversation useless, "What kind do you think Jill wants?"

Slutty Jill's attention flipped immediately, "Um, Root Beer."

An evil eyebrow quirked, "Are you sure?"

Jill nodded, "I saw her drinking a bottle of it once."

"Alrighty then. Root Beer it is."

With that, the pair paid (ish) for the snacks and headed back towards home. The walk seemed to take half as long to return. They got inside and dumped the loot onto the table to observe the horrible amount of junk they were going to consume.

Logical Jill came over, observing the treats, "Well, we'll be loaded for weeks."

Slutty Jill looked like a kid in a candy store, ready to dig into it before the pizza arrived. And, as if on cue, the dude in question arrived bringing the precious food with him. Evil Jill went to pay, retrieving the pizza (without tipping) and slamming the door in the poor boy's face.

Logical Jill sighed at the show while Slutty Jill was too excited to care. They moved the junk food to the coffee table and took their respective seats on the couch, Logical Jill by herself on the love seat and the other two on the couch.

Slutty Jill was the first to take her piece and begin feasting, taking huge bites. The other two were waiting until after the movie was picked.

Now for the next impossible choice. Evil Jill dared to ask, "What are we going to watch?"

Logical Jill was the first to input her opinion, "There's supposed to be a documentary on-"

She was effectively cut off by both other Jill's solid opposition, even if one had a mouthful of food. No documentaries tonight.

Slutty Jill swallowed, before speaking up, "How 'bout a romance movie?" then proceeding to stuff her face again.

Logical Jill didn't seem to mind that idea. Evil Jill on the other hand...

"Ew! I don't want to watch mushy stuff. That's just stupid," She thought for a moment, before getting her own idea, a wicked smile spreading across her face, "Hey, there's supposed to be a horror movie marathon on tonight. How about that?"

Two pairs of eyes widened, one in excitement, one in fear.

Logical Jill spoke first, "That sounds like a good idea!"

Slutty Jill shook her head, having trouble finishing off the bite she was working on. The idea of watching these kinds of movies didn't appeal to her at all.

With the inability to speak up, Evil Jill ignored her silent protests and turned it to that channel, the first movie of the night just starting. The other two Jills dug into their first pieces as Slutty Jill had a problem finishing hers.

* * *

Many hours, conversations and jump scares later, it was finally late enough in the night to call it quits. The three of them retreated to their respective rooms, mostly tired enough to sleep.

Evil Jill collapsed onto her bed, exhausted after getting her kicks out of watching the movies. A couple of them were sorry excuses for horror movies, horribly acted and scripted. A few others were actual good with a solid plot that kept her thinking. All in all, it was a good night.

Sadly, she had to start work again in a few hours so she wouldn't get near as much sleep as she would have liked. That was fine with her because the night had gone so well.

Sometime later, she heard a soft knock at the door. Too tired to answer, she just groaned. The visitor at the door took that as a sign to enter, standing patiently in the doorway.

This caused Jill to finally look up from her lounging position, eyeing the woman wearing fluffy pink pyjamas in the doorway, "Waddaya want?"

"Um..."

She sighed irritably. She could hear the embarrassment in Slutty Jill's fragment of a word, "I don't have all night, you know."

"Can I, um, sleep with you?" Her already quiet voice was muffled by something, most likely a pillow.

She rubbed her face, tiredly, "What's wrong with your bed?"

She heard the woman shuffle in her spot uncomfortably, hesitant to answer.

"If you're going to keep playing this game, you can march yourself right back out and leave me alone."

"I'm scared," She squeaked, not wanting to go back to the dark, lonely room she came from.

This didn't shock the blond woman. She knew Slutty Jill was overly emotional about pretty much everything and this wouldn't be any different. All those movies had probably set her brain into overdrive.

The only thing now was the shaking in her voice that signaled she was on the verge of tears.

She closed her eyes, "And you couldn't have bugged Jill instead of me?"

Again, there wasn't really an answer, a quiet sniffle filling the gap. Truth was, Slutty Jill considered herself closer to this Jill than the other one, kind of like an older sister in a way, but there was no way she was ever going to let Evil Jill know that.

Evil Jill cursed inwardly. She was evil, yes, but she wasn't cruel, especially to one of the few people she considered a friend.

She gave a defeated sigh, "Alright, you can spend the night here. I have to go to work in a few hours though."

She swore she could see the other woman lighten up immediately and make her way to the opposite side of the bed, pillow in hand. She flopped back down on the bed, back turned to the new bed buddy. She felt the bed shift as Jill climbed on and snuggled beneath the covers. Moments after, she felt something small curl up against her back.

Too tired to protest, Jill let Jill be, scared as she was, and went back to falling asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Haven't done this in a while, and it's just sitting here rotting on my desktop. I don't think there are many people reading this, but it's shameless stupidity. I have to write it because it came to mind (though I probably shouldn't post it), but we could all use some shenanigans once in a while!**

**Here it is!**

* * *

Slutty Jill stretched her arms as she walked down the stairs. She'd woken up a little later than she had planned to, but it was the weekend so it was as good a day as any to sleep in. The house was particularly quiet in comparison to the usual buzz which made it the perfect opportunity.

As she opened the fridge in search of food, it occurred to her that, because it was a weekend, Logical Jill was out grocery shopping to prepare for the rest of the week. It also meant there wasn't much to eat except last night's leftovers.

She closed the fridge, a little put off, and turned around to see Evil Jill reading quietly on the couch. It never occurred to her that she enjoyed it in her spare time.

Suddenly, she spoke up, eyes never leaving the book, "If you take a picture, I guarantee it will last longer. I know this from experience."

Slutty Jill didn't even bother giving her a funny look, "I just thought you'd be out stealing candy from babies or tripping old people or something of the sort."

She flipped the page, eyes still fixed on the text, "I'm reading something maniacal."

As much as she didn't want to know, she was interested in what Jill liked to read, though it was probably something she didn't care for, "What's it about?"

"Unicorns," Evil Jill stated as if nothing were amiss.

Slutty Jill stared for a second before erupting into a fit of laughter. She tried to speak several times but no proper words would form. Finally, she settled down, "I don't think maniacal and unicorns go under the same subject."

The blond woman read aloud the part she was at, still unfazed by the other Jill's reaction, "...as it reared it's mighty head, thrusting it's golden horn forward and plunging it deep inside the eye socket of the human before it. The brain hemorrhaged from the impact, shutting off completely as the body slumped to the ground and thick droplets of blood dripped from it's horn. It looked to the sky as it let out a powerful whinny, sending the others into the forest, running faster to further themselves from the violent beast soon to finish what it started. The bloodlust-"

She was cut short as Slutty Jill covered her ears and let out a terrified scream, "Unicorns are supposed to be happy creatures that spread joy and rainbows not death and fear! What's wrong with you!"

Evil Jill chuckled sadistically, "You have it all wrong."

The other Jill just shook her head and kept her hands on her ears, going straight for the stairs, trying her best to forget everything she had just heard.

Hours later, Logical Jill walked in, several bags of groceries in her hands with more to come. She placed them on the counter before looking up to see Evil Jill reading and Slutty Jill nowhere in sight. She had never seen her read before and couldn't help but inquire, "What'cha reading?"

Evil Jill gave the faintest smirk, "Something maniacal."

Before she could ask anything else, a scream from upstairs stopped her, "Don't ask her! Your mind will forever be ruined!"

The blond woman chuckled evilly and Logical Jill figured her best option was just to let sleeping dogs lie in this case.

* * *

Logical Jill trudged down the stairs to grab some milk and cookies. It may have been the wee hours of the morning, but she wanted a snack and she wanted it now. After selecting the perfect items, she turned to see Slutty Jill cuddled up on the couch reading a book.

"Isn't it a little early to be up?" She questioned, slightly confused.

"Isn't it a little early to be eating snacks?" came the quick retort.

"True enough," Logical Jill continued to eat her cookies and drink the milk in silence, the odd flipping of pages the only other sound. She turned slightly in her seat, wondering what her preferred choice of reading was, "What are you reading about?"

"Nothing really."

Logical Jill quirked a brow, obviously not believing it, as she was watching her read, "Sure doesn't look like nothing."

Slutty Jill sighed, looking up from her book with pleading eyes, "Don't tell Jill okay? She'd probably laugh."

Logical Jill nodded in agreement, not seeing why this was relevant.

Slutty Jill looked back at her book before speaking up, "Advanced Calculus Integrated Physics. At this particular point I'm on electromagnetic oscillations and alternating current. The use of electricity in different wave forms is just so interesting to me that it calms me down," she hesitated for a moment before continuing, "Science just works the way it's supposed to, you know? And it never changes. I know that's weird, but it works for me."

Logical Jill wasn't sure what emotion she should feel, her face coming up null. First of all, she had no clue Jill was that smart. Secondly, she did not seem the type at all, nor did she display any signs of intelligent life close to that. Thirdly... When did she get that smart?

She had to make sure, "Are you actually serious?"

"Yep."

"Prove it." She truly didn't know what to believe. Maybe she was just pulling her leg or something.

Slutty Jill then proceeded to rattle off Gauss's Law and its application or something like that. All Logical Jill could do was stare with her mouth agape. She definitely wasn't lying.

"Why don't you do something with that then? Or act like you know more than what you seem to?"

The other Jill stopped her explanation, looking away sheepishly, "'Cause nobody likes a know-it-all. And I like my life just the way it is."

Logical Jill couldn't get over it as she put away her now empty glass. She looked back at Slutty Jill one last time, still quite shocked, "Have a nice night then and good luck getting some sleep."

"Thanks."

Logical Jill headed up the stairs, soaking up the information as Slutty Jill spoke up from down below again, "Remember, don't tell Jill."

She only shook her head, climbing back into bed.

* * *

Both Evil Jill and Slutty Jill had no idea what Logical Jill liked to read. Sure, they saw her flipping through a magazine or newspaper but that wasn't really a taste in literature. And that's when Evil Jill had her 'best idea yet'.

"Let's go search her room. I bet she hides her books somewhere up there 'cause she's too embarrassed of them," she grinned evilly, tapping her fingers together before her face in a villainous kind of way.

Slutty Jill looked around worriedly, unsure if it was really a good idea, "What if she sees us up in her room in all of her stuff? Plus it's her privacy! We shouldn't be in there!"

"Awe, c'mon! Live a little, will ya? Aside from throwing yourself around that is," Slutty Jill glared, as the blond woman wrapped an arm around her shoulder to emphasize the point, "We'll be in and out before she knows it. And we'll know what kind of things she likes to read. You can tell a lot about a person from that, you know." Evil Jill wiggled her eyebrows, tauntingly.

"I dunno..."

"It's now or never. I mean, once she comes back it's going to be harder to get into her room."

"Err.." She was probably about to regret this, "Alright. But we better be quick about it."

Evil Jill relieved her arm, already heading for the stairs, "With my skills, we'll be out of there in no time."

Slutty Jill couldn't help looking back over her shoulder at the door before following the evil woman up the stairs.

Logical Jill's room was neat and tidy; every little piece seemed to have its place. This would mean they would have to be careful replacing things, making sure everything was in the right place.

Evil Jill started searching the place immediately, going through drawers and looking through the neatly folded clothing and upsetting the perfect fold jobs.

Slutty Jill watched uneasily from the doorway, still feeling like this was betrayal of some sort.

"What're you standing around for? Get searching."

Slutty Jill gave a tiny yelp as she jumped and began to look over the room. Evil Jill began to search the small closet coming up with a few newspaper articles that had been clipped, all dealing with some previous police force she had been on.

Beyond that was a rather worn out book with a faded green cover, the print hardly legible and the pages yellowed and faded from use. Evil Jill was careful with the book, realizing it was quite old, probably passed down.

She flipped the cover open, reading the title out loud, "The Mastery of Unlocking," she settled back on her legs, drawing Slutty Jill's attention, "Huh, I never figured her to be the type to pick locks."

"It could have been a gift or something from someone."

Evil Jill frowned, replacing the book and articles carefully, "You're probably right. There's no way she would break into people's houses for kicks." She turned to the other woman in the room, "Find anything yet?"

Slutty Jill shook her head, "Nope." She then checked under the bed. Still nothing.

The blond slid up beside her, "You would make a horrible convict." She reached under the bed as if feeling for something.

"To most people, that would probably be a good thing," she muttered.

Evil Jill felt around for a few seconds before her face lit up, "Aha! See, if you want to hide something well, you hide it up in the bed where no one would look."

She retracted her arm, bringing forth a fairly new book with a black hardcover. The sleeve was taken from it causing Evil Jill to flip through the first few pages to find the title. Upon seeing it, her face split into laughter.

"Oh, this is just too good!" She howled as the book fell from her lap.

Confused, Slutty Jill picked up the dropped object and repeated the actions of the woman before her. Her eyes widened too, before she erupted into laughter. Yeah, definitely unbelievable.

As they were keeling over with fits of laughter, Logical Jill appeared in her doorway, "What are you guys doing in my room? I expect this kind of behaviour from _her,_" she looked pointedly at Evil Jill, "but I'm not sure why you're in on this."

Slutty Jill went red from embarrassment but couldn't stop her laughter; Evil Jill just continued to howl, reaching clumsily for the book to show to its owner.

Logical Jill's eyes widened as she saw the item of humility in the evil clutches of the blond Jill. Her face lit up like a red light on Christmas, although it was impossible to tell if it was from rage or embarrassment. With quick motion and surprising amounts of strength, she ripped the book from Evil Jill's hands and tossed both Jill's from her room.

"And stay out!" She slammed the door behind them.

Their laughter died off as they lay sprawled across the floor.

"What did I tell you? It was well worth our time," Evil Jill grinned, looking awfully pleased with herself.

Slutty Jill had a huge smile plastered to her face, "Yeah. Who thought Jill would ever read '50 Shades of Grey'?"


End file.
